Thursday, May 24, 2012

From the beautiful bloggers :D :D :D

                    I have been given some wonderful awards by fellow bloggers The Little PrincessChirag and Smita. I have been terribly late in acknowledging the awards and I m really sorry *kaan pakadke*. Between being caught up in college and multitasking, this little space of mine gets ignored often. I m truly blessed to have readers who still do read my post even when I take ages to complete it sometimes and to top it they even give me awards :D
                    I love to get such pleasant surprises. In my initial days of blogging it was a big deal to get an award (  I never got any :P ). But with time, the followers and comments become a part of life and you know people still read your blog even if they don't comment much. I have been guilty of reading every post that's been up in the last so many months but not commenting on any and I m sure I have many such readers too. Thank you all my readers for reading my blog.
                   Little Princess, Chirag and Smita I m displaying all three awards together as all of them require me to write 7 random things. Thanks to you three, I now have an opportunity to give awards to some bloggers and spread the happiness around :D

These awards will be displayed on my blog page :D
                Time for the 7 random things:
           1. I love doing Sudoku
           2. I get restless if my net connection has some problem. I need it to be working ! Even if I don't need it that urgent :P
           3. I don't like people talking in negative, "You don't want it right??" Even if I want ,I will say " no" :P

           4. I have lots of talents thoda thoda :P I love all types of creative stuff, be it mehendi designing, be it sketching, be it craft, cooking, decorating. But like I said "thoda thoda". I can't keep doing it continuously but when I do, I do it massst!!

          5. I fight this compulsive urge to correct spelling mistakes :P
          6. I m a biggg fooodie :P Now that's not much random going by my size. I love my fish fry and chicken! Vegetarians can make all the faces in the world :P
          7. I can double as my own beautician ! other than shaping the eyebrows I can pretty well do everything :D
            And now I have the honour of passing these wonderful awards to my fellow bloggers.
                        This one is from chirag! What do I say I m flattered :D
I would like to pass this award to the following bloggers:
PeeVee: One of my favorite blogs Confessions of the Chocolate obsessed. She is excellent at stories, cute with random and mindblowing with her abstract posts :D And we share a common love for food :D :D

Dr Roshan: He is witty, he is humorous and he is a Doctor :D His posts have set my thoughts in motion, sometimes made me laugh and sometimes made me crave for food :D I m linking one of my favorite posts by him -What dreams may come. Ah did I mention? He has been published too!

RedHanded: Humor, hardhitting facts, stories that run deep and a poetry that is narrative in itself. She defines the word "versatile".
                                          Little Princess thank you for writing such kind words for my work :D
I would pass this award to:
Anita : Her blog Mirroring my Thoughts brings a smile on my face. The simplicity of her posts makes it so special.

Suruchi: Do I need to even introduce her? You are not a blogger if you haven't read her My tumbling thoughts to the world. She's insanely humorous and has the knack to deliver *her message ofcourse* without creating a drama. But when she gets to nautanki, you can't beat her at it:D :D Being an English teacher does have its perks! Her language flows effortlessly and without even realising you are into the flow! Don't believe me? Read Friend zoned lover and Dear Girl nursing a broken heart and see for yourself!

                     Smita I m sooo happy to receive this from you !! <3 <3 <3
And award I pass to
Nirvana : She is a clever story teller and someone whose blog is replete with diverse works. You can spend your day reading her work!!

Sujatha: She is one writer who can write about anything under the sun and make it interesting. Her posts are very honest and raw. There have been so many things which she can fearlessly talk aloud which a lot of us tend to brush under the carpet. :D

Congrats to all the winners!

P.S: I suddenly realised I m not following much male bloggers :P And of the few I follow, most of them have the award already or have been inactive!
P.P.S : I didn't realise I wrote so much :P

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Broken promises

               Today, as he sat holding Shreya's hand, he could feel nothing but remorse for their failed love. For the broken promises. A little more patience on Shreya's side could have changed their lives.
               Shreya was getting conscious and attempting to speak. She sensed Naksh's  hand in hers and a bleak smile came on her face. Her frailness was heartbreaking to see for Naksh.
                "Naksh.. I won't make it.. I know its my last."
                "Don't say that Shreya. Please don't." He tried to console her.
               "Naksh, I want to tell you something. I always loved you and I still do. If it weren't for my last wish to see you, I wouldn't have called you."
               "Shreya, why didn't you wait? You knew I loved you and I wanted to fulfil all the promises I made to you."
               "I was weak Naksh. I needed you. You always kept me away from you and your problems. I spent days waiting for you. And when I had someone who did all that I wanted you to do, I thought it was love. He showered me with attention. We spent so much time together. He took time to appreciate me. Did you notice Naksh, even once, that I had lost considerable weight in all those months you were busy?"
               Naksh remembered seeing her with another man. She had looked much more beautiful and lean than before. But the sight of her in another man's arms had made it impossible for him to stay there. He had just stormed away from there.
               "Don't Naksh. I know you didn't. You broke those small small promises you made to me. You hurt me and I still loved you. But when someone had time to love me, I thought it best to be with that man."
               "Then where is he now Shreya??" He raised his voice on her.
               "Left me.. like everyone who claims to love me." her voice broke.
               "I was just his muse. It was good when he was in my life. Maybe you don't know that he was a painter. It was beauty he was after. He was divorced too. When we were dating, his divorce was under way. Once he divorced I asked him about our future. He was a commitment phobic and his divorce had made him lose his belief in marriage. He still kept me happy though he started getting distant when I broached the topic of marriage."
               "It was a joke how I was getting the extremes in love. With you, I always knew that you would marry me someday but I didn't know if you would ever give me attention. With him I experienced happiness but not security."
              "He was shifting his base to Delhi. Meanwhile I too got a good offer in Delhi. He suggested we live in. It was a big decision for me to let go of my inhibitions but I still went ahead. I thought it might make him believe that we could be together happily in marriage. But this step of mine separated me from my parents. They disowned me. They haven't once spoken to me in all these years."
              "I was proved wrong. He was not the one to be settled with. With time he grew distant but you know what Naksh? It never hurt me the way it did when you grew distant. I realised then that maybe I never loved him. True love hurts. Like it hurt me to love you."
             "I m sorry Shreya. I cursed you all these years. Our relation could have been very different if both of us had taken some time to understand the other."
             "You had the right to curse me. I spoilt everything. For us and for my family."

She was getting short of breathe. As if it was going to be her last and that scared him. For all the sorrows they had gone through, they atleast deserved a day of love. Maybe it was time they both forgive each other.
           "Shreya, just let go of the past. It will only  hurt. I want you to forgive me." He had tears in his eyes when he said that.
           "Naksh I don't want to die thinking that you hated me."
           "I love you Shreya. I really do. After all that has passed, I still do."
And just like that, he stayed with her through the day. Talking about all the years spent apart. About the times they had spent together. He kept her spirits high.
He saw her drifting off to sleep again. This time with a smile on her face.
He knew what to do now. Things had cleared in his head. HE went back home to get that ring which he had still preserved. He dropped to her favorite restaurant in city and ordered her favorite food.

By the time he returned to her ward, she was already awake.
"I thought you won't come back." she said.
"I had to.. " he smiled.
He set the small hospital table with the food he had brought.
"The food smells like Kuku's!! I haven't had real food in months!!" she jumped with joy.
"I know.. But before that I want to give you something.."
He took her hand and slipped the ring which he had brought for her years back.
"Naksh this is beautiful" she said gleaming at it.
She looked at him with the same love which he was used to with her.
"Naksh please come closer. I want to hug you." He held her close with tenderness.
They had dinner in peace.

She sat resting her head on his shoulders. In perfect satisfaction. IT was time for her medicine and check up.  She dreaded it every time.
"Good Shreya, you are responding well to the latest drug." Doctor smiled at her, giving an understanding look to Naksh.
Naksh followed the doctor outside.
"Will she hold on more?" he asked.
"Response is much better but its difficult to say."
"But you said she is responding well."
"Response is only helping her cope with the pain. I m sorry."

When he returned to Shreya, he saw her crying on her mother's lap. Her father and her brothers had come to see her too. He felt it best to leave her to spend some time with them.
He went out to call his wife and tell her he will be stuck with some work.
Later that night nurse came to call him inside.
Shreya asked him to come and sit beside her.
"You called them?" she whispered. He nodded.
"Thank you" her voice almost inaudible. She held his hand and rested on the pillow.
Minutes later, her mother let out loud wails. Naksh felt her hand going numb and cold.. He had lost her...

P.S : sorry the story stretched long and took lot of time to be posted.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Broken Promises.. Part 3

        "Are you Shreya's relative?" the doctor asked.
        "Ah.... Yes.." Naksh lied.
        "Please come into my cabin." He said grimly.
         Naksh followed the doctor. He knew it was bad news.
        "Mr Naksh, I won't beat around the bush. Medicines have stopped working on Shreya. She won't make it through the day. I would advise to get prepared for it. I m sorry we cannot do anything to keep her alive now."
         Naksh sat in front of the doctor speechless. He had no idea what all had to be arranged for. He had never done funeral preparations. Who should he call?
         "She has gone to sleep but that won't last long. You can talk to her when she wakes up. Try to cheer her. That would atleast help her cope with the pain."

         Naksh went to Shreya and sat beside her. He held her hand lightly, scared that even that will hurt her. He kept staring at her, helplessly sobbing. Yes he had once loved her more than life and he still loved her.
         His Shreya. The one who had come into his life and filled it with unconditional love. He had never thought someone could love him so much. She made each day of his life special. Everyday she said something which made him beam with happiness. Her little efforts to bring a smile on his face, made him feel blessed. He felt the luckiest person around, when she held him.
         She used to say that it was their kismet to fall in love. Two strangers with nothing in common fell so irresistably in love.
        He smiled thinking about how they had first met. Unusual circumstances! They were in a departmental store close to his office. He was a fresher in his job and also new to the city. She had come to the same store. They were busy picking up their stuff from opposite racks. They  had turned at the same time and her long hair had lashed against his face. He was almost blinded by it. Moments later he felt himself being tugged ahead. Her hair had entangled in his chain!! She tried pulling it out and that only hurt her. She was moving too much, making it impossible for him to concentrate on freeing her hair.
        He had held her by the waist and pulled her closer. This had stunned her. He slowly untangled her hair and brushed it aside. She was nothing out of the ordinary. Wheat complexioned, short at about 5'2, a little overweight. What was enchanting about her were her eyes. She had large expressive eyes. Her thick, long, luminous hair had already done the magic . What he liked best about her was her smile. When she smiled her eyes lit up. She had that genuine infectious smile that brought a slight dimple on her left cheek. That was the Shreya he remembered.
         One thing had led to another and they had become closer. From acquaintance to just friends to good friends and finally to lovers. HE was not a romantic person but she made him feel special to be in love. She loved him like no one else  ever had. She took care of the small details of his life.
         She belonged to a good family and led a comfortable life. Naksh was a beginner and trying to make his mark. He wanted to give her all the comfort that she was used to and lot more. For that he was trying his best to get higher up in his work.
         Shreya was still studying. Earlier he used to pick her up after her classes in the evening but that reduced due to his long hours at work. The late night calls slowly decreased because he was too tired to talk at night. She kept telling him that she missed him but he could do nothing about it. He sometimes felt agitated that she wouldn't support him with his efforts.
         The work became even more hectic in the next two years when he became an entrepreneur. He would hardly be able to give her an hour or so in a week. They talked on phone but that was not enough for Shreya. She always complained about loneliness which made him angry. Couldn't see that he was doing it for their future?
         Fights were becoming every day thing. He getting angry, she crying, he feeling frustrated and then cutting off from her for some days. She acting crazy. IT was taking a toll on their relation.
        Once after a fight she had texted him,
        "One day u will need me and I will b very busy. So busy that I wouldn't even talk to u"
         He had no idea who much that would hurt!
        She had started working for an orphanage after her final semesters were done. She used to teach the kids and also organise fun activities for them. She would take time out to call him but he would return them when he would get free and at that time she would be busy. Sometimes they wouldn't talk all day because of not calling at convenient time. He missed meeting her on Sundays because Sundays were the fun days at the orphanage. When she would be busy organizing something for the kids. She was happy doing that and if he had told her to leave it and meet him then she would be upset. She would tell him how he never thought about her and how he was selfish and met her at his convenience. So he let it pass. 
       Somehow he managed to upset her each time they talked. He didn't know what would make her so edgy. She wouldn't take even a joke without taunting him. He loved her a lot but he didn't know how to make her understand that. She was no longer the happy person he had met. 
       Things had started getting better in the 3rd year of their relation. That was the year when she didn't even ask him to celebrate their anniversary. They just wished each other and that was about it. He should have known it then. He thought she had matured and understood his problems and ignored the signs or her walking away from him. She no longer called that often. She stayed busy with her friends or work. When he was busy it didn't matter much but on days when he would be free, he would ache for her. 
    It was her birthday. Naksh was better off now. He had already thought about the perfect gift for her. This birthday he was going to make very very special for her. He had bought a ring for her. He would propose her for marriage. 
    He had wished her at midnight and had anticipated that she would insist he spent her birthday with her like she always did. He was not able to do that but now he could do it. Strangely, she didn't ask. Nor did she ask him to say something special. He felt sad that he had denied her so many times that she no longer thought of asking it. This time he would make it up for her.  
    He had called her up in the morning but she had been busy with other calls and not returned his call. That day one of his friend had called him to meet up. He had gone to meet his friend in Zangi pub. It will still time for the evening when Shreya would get free from work. He thought of surprising her by going to pick her up at 6. Still one hour for that! 
     He was about to leave the pub when he thought he saw Shreya on the upper floor of the pub. He must have been mistaken. If Shreya had been free she would have definitely called him! And then he saw Shreya's friends Rachel and Smriti coming in and walking up the stairs. Now curious, he too went up to see what was happening. 
    People were dancing to the music that had just started. In one corner, a small group of friends had gathered. He recognized 3 of Shreya's friends among them. They were all singing the birthday song. And then he saw..
     Shreya feeding the cake to a man he had never seen before. Naksh couldn't believe his eyes. That man later slipped on a ring into her finger. Shreya hugged him like she once used to hug Naksh.. 
     Naksh curled his fingers into a fist as he saw that man plant a kiss on Shreya's forehead. Inside, Naksh felt himself breaking....

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Broken Promises. 2

          Naksh woke up feeling anxious. He could barely manage to sleep the other night. He had made up his mind to tell his wife everything about his past. About Shreya. He was yet to muster what he would tell her. She was oblivious to the fact that he ever had someone else in his life. This would sure shake her but he had to hold her through it. His wife was already up and not about in their room. 

          "Naksh, the breakfast is ready. My students are coming early for some problem solving. Will be busy till afternoon." she said as he entered the hall while still getting her kid ready for school. She then got busy with her work. She gave classes to college students. This would keep her busy and was just not the right time to tell her. He went to get ready and thought about visiting Shreya in the evening. Maybe he could come early in the afternoon and then have a talk with his wife before going. 

          He was about to leave his house when the landline rang. His wife was busy so he paced back into the room to get the phone. It was from the hospital telling him that Shreya's condition was deteriorating and she was insisting on meeting him. He was left with no option but to bunk office that day and go to the hospital.

         On his way to hospital he picked up some yellow roses... just what Shreya liked. For a moment he had almost forgotten how much he had hated her.. She was on her deathbed. She deserved atleast that much sympathy. Or did he still care?

         He was led to her room on the third floor of the hospital. He knew she would no longer be the beautiful girl she was when they were together but he was never prepared to see what he saw. She was pale. Her eyes were bloodshot and looked in great pain. Her cheeks has sunken and her collar bones protruding out. She had lost a lot of weight. Her hair was kept short and had reduced to such an amount that it almost made his heart sink. He was hurt to see her like this. He had thought that she would get the punishment for what she had done to him, but what was happening to her was hurting him too. 

        She attempted to sit up but was too weak to do it on her own. Her nurse helped her and she motioned her to leave. Naksh was in a strange situation. While a part of him wanted to go close to her and hold her, the other part just couldn't move. Shreya kept staring blankly at him. Her eyes full of tears.
        Naksh sat beside her. Restless, angry, sad,  hurting, crying. Like that night when she walked out of his life. 

          "Won't you give me those yellow roses?" she asked him putting on a smile. That smile which once pulled people towards her. That smile which brightened his day. 
           He handed her the flowers. She looked at them adoringly. Breathing in their smell. 
          "Thanks, its been quite sometime since someone gave me flowers."
          He wondered why no one was there with her at this time of her life.
          "Isn't it strange how you never ever brought flowers for me in all those years we were together and now, when I m about to die, you bring me these and tempt me to live ?" she said.
          "Leave it, you were never too good with catching my words." She waved her hand
          "And you were never too good with understanding my feelings."He replied

          "Why Shreya? Why did you do that to me?" His anger bottled for years was out now.
          "You really don't know? Think about all that you did when I was with you." She too was getting angry.
          "Damn it Shreya, I was working day and night for us. For our future. To be able to give you every comfort that you want. And what did I get in return?" He screamed at her.
          "But what did you do for our present? For that hug I wanted. For that compliment I wished you gave me. For that little yellow rose I wanted as a gift? For that little note I would have cherished a life time if you had given me? Where were you on that lonely Valentine's day I spent waiting for you? What did you do on my birthday to make it special??? Just say "happy birthday" and go off to sleep?  What did you do to make sure that "us" in your future plans stayed "us"? You spent too much time on future to think about the present." she was feeling fatigued with the outburst and rested her back on the pillow. 

          She was getting breathless. Naksh panicked and called for the nurse. 
          "Its about time for the doctor to visit Shreya. I will call him right away." The nurse said running her hands through Shreya's hair and then went to call the doctore. She looked genuinely concerned for Shreya.
          "I m only human Naksh. I did what I felt was right then." she said to him looking hurt.
           The doctor came into the room with the nurse in tow. He asked Naksh to wait outside.
           Naksh waited outside introspecting all that happened. Whose fault was it that Naksh and Shreya were not together? Who was to blame for the broken promises?

(To be continued)